Smart Parenting: Coping Up With Parental Frustration
From time to time, parents just lose their temper in front of their children. Sometimes the anger is aimed at them, though other times not, but it is almost always an unsettling experience for both parties. Fortunately, there are a few simple ways you can do to repair the damage and even avoid future meltdowns.
- Investigate the Situation
Instead of letting the situation fuel your anger, step back and find out the cause of the problem. What are the reasons behind the act? Are there stressors that are upsetting your child right now? What happened before the frustrating behaviour? If you know the cause of the problem, it’s easier to come up with a rational action rather than scolding and shouting at your child for no clear reason.
- Create a Trigger List
Recognizing your anger buttons helps a lot in managing your anger. Keep a journal where you can write the moments that caused you the most frustration during the week. Take note of the time of the day that the outburst occurred, what happened, and how you reacted. Chances are, a pattern will emerge and that pattern will help you look for solutions.
- Have a Calming Mantra
Therapists recommend self-talk for a good reason: talking your way through a frustrating event helps in keeping you calm and collected, even if your child is hysterically screaming and crying in front of you. Choose a few calming phrases you can chant in your head when you feel your anger starts to rise. Talk to your child calmly and repeat in your head your calming mantra as often as needed.
- Relate With Your Child
We all have our bad days, and our kids are not an exception to that. When your children start pushing your trigger buttons, try to relate to their situation and think back when you made the same choice. What were you feeling that time? What did you need on that moment? When we empathize to cope up with our anger, it’s easier to respond with understanding and kindness.
Anger issues can make parenting tough, but as long as you know what triggers your emotional outburst, it’s easier to handle your reaction towards upsetting situations that may be caused by your children. Managing your anger the right way helps a lot in keeping your children’s respect for you and taking care of their emotional health as well.